How to Not Suck on Dating Apps: The Cure for Unoriginality
Is it surprising that I apply advice on crafting fiction to crafting Hinge profiles?
How to Not Suck on Dating Apps is a little project (title still in the works) by me and comedian Zach Scheimer. He’s a dude, I’m a lady. He is single, I am not. I am gay, he is not. We spend a lot of time on dating apps and talking about dating apps.
Keep an eye out for more snarky advice!
I listen to a podcast called “The Sh*t No One Tells You About Writing,” and they share some good sh*t (good sh*t) about writing. One piece of good sh*t? People think in specifics. They don’t think in generalities.
What does this sh*t have to do with dating apps? Everything. (Yes, the most unspecific answer I could give…)
I don’t keep track of how many dating profiles I read a day, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it hit 750 or even 1,000. I see a lot of the same stuff over and over again. Some of them ended up on my pet peeves list. But because I am a positive and helpful person (today), I’m going to stick to quick advice on how to write a good profile:
Be specific.
The advice is the same for fiction writers and profile writers.
You can paint a much better picture of yourself, what you like to do, and what you’re looking for with specifics. You don’t think in generalities. So why would you be vague on your profile?
Show People Who You Really Are
In fiction, you learn more about a character when you read about their memory of watching their brothers dissect frogs by the pond in their backyard than you do reading about how they “enjoyed their summers.” (Don’t ask me where I came up with that example.) The same works for dating profiles.
Once, when I was still desperately clinging onto the idea that I was a straight woman, I changed my dating profile to, “Just here because Kevin Smith is already married.” I really like Clerks. And I really like film nerds. It wasn’t long before I was sending messages to nice film nerds about Mallrats. Hyper-specific references don’t have to be your entire profile, but one prompt answer brings in people who are your people.
My friend Amy’s most popular prompt answer is this:
I don’t know what Trappist beer is, but I guess a lot of guys do. They know they’ve already got something in common when they swipe right on Amy and have an opportunity to suggest getting Via 313 and Trappist beer. Not for her last meal, obv. Be safe out there, Amy.
Whether you’re writing your character’s backstory or your Bumble profile, go niche. Be it pop culture, pizza places, or Dungeons and Dragons campaigns, you’ll catch your people’s attention faster with those references that they totally get.
Unhinged Ideas on How to Write Unique Answers to Dating Profile Prompts
Okay, want to implement? If you’re writing a character, play around with a hyper-specific memory of theirs. If you’re writing your profile, open your app and answer a prompt with a dumb inside joke. I’m serious. Get the conversation started with something your match won’t see anywhere else.
Here’s what I mean:
The one thing you should know about me is: Why my parents call me “Gila Monster.” (Go ahead. Ask me why.)
The way to win me over is: If you tell my friends to “drive to Illinois.” (Let me know if you want the story behind this. It involves a stuffed bear, a pepperoni pizza, and a very bad mixtape.)
Try to guess this about me: I may or may not have a beef with David Schwimmer. Can you guess why?
Obviously, draw from your real life. Get into the nitty-gritty of who you are and who you want to attract. Dating, sometimes, can feel stranger than fiction. But if you put as much thought into your profile as you would into your protagonists, you might just wind up in a fairytale.