The Drunk Dutch Man Threw His Book in the River
Musings from Cancun about connection, at a conference.
I charmed a bartender in Krakow, Poland with long, blonde hair and told him to join us in Kazimierz when he was done with his shift. Wasn’t it fun, to get a man to do what you told him to do? It was in 2015, when I spent more time around travelers and we all felt like we were on a level playing field.
The blonde bartender brought a Dutch man with him: quiet, surly, and very tall. Scruffy beard. As the bartender mingled with the strangers, the Dutch man stayed in the corner, thumbing through a thick, paperback book with a faded title. The American girls I was with giggled occasionally at his dedication.
The Dutch man finished the book, and as the legend goes, the story ended with the protagonist throwing his book in the river. Does that ring a bell for anyone? I don’t know the title of the book, even though I’ve told this story many times. The Dutch man decided, on his taxi back to the blonde bartender’s place, to throw his book in the river also.
The punchline? Two weeks later, the Dutch man came to the blonde bartender’s bar, looking for his book.
Eight years later, my first night in Cancun, thinking about him. Thinking about how I, a wine or two deep surrounded by strangers at a work conference, want nothing more than to curl up with Hello Beautiful. I had met ninety new faces that day. Even though I had met the Padavano family a few days earlier, I was still more comfortable with them than these new attendees (who, a few days into the conference, I have made wonderful connections with. Not surprising to learn a bunch of matchmakers have good hearts.)
That first night, rain and the sand pelted me on the way back to my hotel room. If Hello Beautiful ended with a book thrown in the ocean, I might have throw my copy in the ocean, too. To feel solidarity with the protagonists. To have a good story the next time I’m surrounded by strangers. To feel something other than lonely, even in a room full of people who know better than anyone about overcoming loneliness.
I wonder if that Dutch man needs a matchmaker, or bought another copy of that book. I wonder if he let it be a mystery for the rest of his days. I hope he cherishes that night in the same way I do. I hope he sees it as the ending that was meant for him.
